Into Squall's Mind
by Spoony Man
Summary: We see what goes on inside Squall's head. (I fixed the first chapter....I hope.)
1. There's somethin' funny goin' down!

*Hey. I was originally called Indalecio. But, I can't really  
write stuff thats of a serious nature. Therefore, I have started a new era!  
(For me, anyway.) I will try to write humorous stuff and I am now known as  
...SPOONYMAANNN!!!! Spoony! Away! (Flies away and starts mumbling about  
the little green men in his shoes...) Anyway, here is my first attempt at a  
humor fic. Please review! I need to know how I did! This fic is basically  
Squall thinking about stuff. What stuff? Read on and find out.  
  
(...) = thought  
  
After Ultimecia's defeat, at the Garden, in Squall's SeeD Dorm-  
  
  
Squall was bored. He was really bored. So, he started to think about the past.  
  
He recalled the day he was accepted as a SeeD. His butt really itched that  
  
day. But he had to stand there and look pretty in front of Cid. (Ya know what?), Squall thought (He's  
  
a weird little man.) Squall wasn't sure, but he was almost certain he saw Cid  
  
wandering the garden late at night dressed in a wedding dress and singing the  
  
teapot song . (What's up with Selphie? Why is she  
  
so damned hyper? Always running around screaming, "WOOHOO!". She also jumps  
  
a lot. Bouncy. They are pretty bouncy. Heh heh.) Squall's mind continued to wander...  
  
(Speaking of bouncing, Why does Zell bounce around like that? What is he constipated, or something?)  
  
"...uall! Squall! Earth to Squall! HELLOOO?!" Rinoa tapped Squall's head.  
  
Hard. "...Owtch! Wha..?! Oh, hi, Rinoa." Squall rubbed his head.   
  
"What were you doing staring out the window? Spacing out?" Rinoa asked.   
  
"...Yes." Squall answered. "Oh...uh...Anyway, Cid needs to see us." Rinoa gestured  
  
out the door. "Okay, Rinoa." Squall got up. "Let's go."  
  
  
Cid's office-  
  
  
Squall was still bored. Cid wanted him, Rinoa, and Irvine to go to  
  
some freaky cavern and see what's spooking the people of Winhill so badly. After the meeting,  
  
they all went to Balamb for a train ticket. On the way, Squall thought some more. (Why  
  
is Irvine such a pervert? He's been caught sneaking in the girl's lockers, dorms,  
  
and the bathrooms. That is just plain weird. He also is very protective of those  
  
guns of his...too protective. Also, if he is so damned strange, why is Selphie  
  
still going with him?) Scratch that. He didn't wanna know. (Quistis talks too much.  
  
She even lectured him on how to use his own gunblade!! What the hell?! She's  
  
also pretty nosy, too. She stares in all the windows we've come across in the   
  
past and lately there have been rumors about Quistis being a little...voyeuristic.  
  
Ugh.) The only normal person he's met so far is Rinoa. (???) "...UALL!! SQUALL!!  
  
HEY!! We're here!" Squall got out of the car and made his way towards the train  
  
station. After purchasing a ticket, the trio went to the hotel to wait for the train.  
  
For some reason, Irvine wanted a seperate room and because of this Rinoa got one, too.  
  
(Oh, well.) Squall was about to get lost in thought again, when he heard something.  
  
Something horrible. Irvine was moaning. Loudly. Squall's first thought was (RINOA!) and  
  
he jumped out of bed, Lionheart at the ready, when he heard what Irvine was moaning.  
  
"EXETER!! OH! OHHH!! EXETER!!" Squall fainted right there...  
  
  
  
Squall's room, 1/2 an hour later-  
  
  
  
"...ey! SQUALL!! Wake up, man! It's time to go!" Squall awoke   
  
to Irvine yelling through the door. "Was it a nightmare?" Squall said to himself  
  
"That was a horrible nightmare..." Squall shook his head and joined the other  
  
two.   
  
  
Later, on the train-  
  
  
Squall told Rinoa that he had a terrible nightmare. Unbeknownst  
  
to our favorite duo...Irvine was sighing in relief...(He thought it was a nightmare...)  
  
A little later, Squall nodded off again...  
  
  
Nibelheim, Rebuilt Shin-ra Mansion-  
  
  
Cloud woke up from a really weird dream about some guy in a   
  
different world. Tifa slept peacefully on the other bed. Cloud sighed and  
  
said to himself, "I'll never get to sleep now. Might as well train. But first,  
  
some coffee would be nice." After fixing himself some coffee in the new   
  
kitchen, Cloud sat down and drank. Cloud began to get bored. Really bored.  
  
So, he started to think...  
  
  
  
  
*Should I do it? Tell me in your review!! 


	2. Cloud is a voyeur...

*Hello. SpoonyMan here! I only got one review but, what the hell, I'm writing the next "...thinks" segment anyway!! Today's victim is Cloud, who had just woken up from a really strange dream. (SEE LAST CHAPTER!) Here we go!! SPOONY!! AWAY!! I'm a weird little man in a pretty new dress...  
  
  
  
( ) means thinking in progress. SHHH!!!  
  
  
  
Nibelheim, Shinra Mansion, 4:26 A.M.-  
  
As we last left Cloud, he had just gotten up from a strange dream about a guy whose name was windy sounding... (I need coffee. My head is so damn foggy...) Cloud rummaged through the cabinet in the kitchen of the rebuilt Shinra Mansion. "Where is it? Ah! Here it is!" Cloud joyfully exclaimed as he held up his prize, Insta-Coffee. After several minutes of sleep induced stupidity, including my personal favorite, scalding liquid on the no-no zone. [ SPOONYMAN- It happened to me...No SpoonyMan Jr. now...] Cloud swore so much, he would have made Cid proud. After FINALLY getting his coffee (and some ice) , Cloud relaxed at the table and proceeded to enjoy his hard won prize. During this event, Cloud's mind started to wander. He thought about the past and...Aeris. (I hope you are at peace...Aeris.) Cloud then began to think about his teammates...(Barret. I know he is devoted to his daughter and all, but why does he wear a pink dress when he plays tea party with Marlene? That's what I get for spying on him....Ugh.) Cloud's thoughts strayed..."AHHH!!! BAD IMAGES!! BAD IMAGES!!! I DON'T WANNA WEAR THE DRESS AGAIN!!! THAT Pretty, soft, wonderful dress....AHHH!!! BAD CLOUD!! BAD CLOUD!!!" Cloud sipped his coffee to calm himself down. It worked. That and he didn't want to wake Tifa up...(Tifa trains a lot. Almost too much...Then again I love to watch her train...She's very...bouncy...heh, heh.) Cloud looked at the clock. It was now 5:44 A.M. Tifa would wake up soon...  
  
  
  
Nibelheim, Town Square, Dawn-  
  
"What kind of bad images were you screaming about?" Tifa asked Cloud as the village started to wake up. "....." Cloud didn't answer. He was THINKING. (Vincent is very moody. Why is he so fixated on repentance? I know what happened, but why does he take all the blame? Maybe he's masochistic? That would explain why he has such a large collection of whips... I love spying on others! Why did Yuffie go into his room at night so much on the airship and at inns? I don't get....Oh...DAMMIT!  
  
They...are...SICK!! I wonder if Tifa would whip me...BAD CLOUD!!!) Cloud was distracted from his thoughts by a punch to the gut. "...UFFF!!!" Cloud went down trying to catch his breath. "Answer me next time!!" Tifa was pissed. "...What was that for?" Cloud asked Tifa who then asked, "What kind of bad images were you screaming about this morning?" Cloud looked around. The entire town was awake.  
  
"I'll tell you later." Tifa noticed the villagers and said, "Fine. Why don't we go visit one of our friends today?" Cloud knew better than to argue. They gathered supplies and left for Rocket Town, Cid, and the Highwind.  
  
  
  
Rocket Town, Cid's house, 7:19 P.M.-  
  
Tifa and Cid were chatting up a storm. Meanwhile, Shera prepared tea and Cloud zoned out. (Cid is normal. He swears alot and uses words that Cloud himself didn't know. Shera...I think she's not just duty bound like she said. I think she is enjoying being kicked around. Ugh..another Vincent...) Cloud stopped thinking there because it's very hard to think when somebody is kicking your leg. Cloud looked up and saw Tifa looking at him and Cid sipping his tea. "...Well?!" Tifa was giving Cloud "The Glare". Cloud responded with a blank look. Cloud then began to sing..."I'm SINGING about MEEEEEEE!!!!" The high note shattered all glasses in the vicinity. Tifa fell over and Cid was laughing. Shera had fainted.  
  
The image distorted...  
  
  
  
Alexandria, The Castle, 12:46 A.M.-  
  
  
  
Zidane woke up...  
  
  
  
(Whether you review or not, I'LL BE BACCCKKK!!!) 


	3. SUPER JOE!!!

Zidane awoke from a strange dream..."Ugh! What a nightmare!! I dreamt was a crossdresser with an attitude...Eeewww!!" Zidane was talking to himself. Garnet had left on diplomatic business to the Outer Continent. Mainly with the dwarves. Vivi had gone as well to pay a visit to the Black Mage Village. (Can't sleep now...let's get some coffee.) Zidane followed his own advice and made his way to the castle kitchen. No one was around...Zidane fixed his coffee without a hitch. After the first cup,  
  
Zidane felt odd...(I'll have another cup of joe...joe..joe...SUPER JOE!) Zidane had an idea...and it was only 4 in the morning...he made his way outside to set his plan in motion...and what's worse was the fact that he carried a jug full of really sugared up coffee...  
  
  
  
It was noon in Alexandria Square when..."SUPER JOE!!" The normal hustle and bustle of Alexandria turned into a panicked mob as some nut in a glowing pink outfit dashed through the square with  
  
monsters in tow. "NO NEED TO FEEL SAD! I'VE BROUGHT PETS FOR EVERYBODY!" Super Joe then proceeded to"save" the citizens of Alexandria from "Nimrod" by beating the crap out of the town statue...meanwhile the monsters had a field day...then got bored and left..."SUPER JOE!!" Super Joe started to do the Penguin Dance of Happiness, which consisted of waddles and hops, until something strange happened...in a flash of light, Super Joe transformed into Zidane (like you didn't already know.) and promptly passed out...  
  
  
  
Zidane didn't remember a thing. Nevertheless, the citizens reported this Garnet, who promptly ordered all coffee kept out of reach of a certain not to be named man. Even after that, the citizens still shuddered in fear every few weeks...for "SUPER JOE!!" returns....  
  
  
  
"AHHH!!!" Spoony Man woke up from many horrible nightmares, shook his head and then went back to sleep.  
  
  
  
The End Of This Horribly Written Story  
  
  
  
P.S. I'm considering using Super Joe for an FF9-based story. Should I? Review and let me know!! 


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